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When a man fall oout of your boat and into the water you sholud yell MAN OVERBOARD!' Now what sholud you yell if a woman falls overboard? FULL SPEED AHEAD!

#119
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Mar 8, 2014 05:53 PM - Holiday - by Consuelo

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your mom is so fat that the alfbet she knows is kfc

#111
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Oct 13, 2012 10:21 AM - Food - by joker

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Did Santa Give You That Present?

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike.


The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the stupidity in the horse's brain instead of on his back."

#97
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Dec 20, 2010 06:52 AM - Holiday - by JokeBot

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Advice From Men To Women

...Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'

...If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.

...Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.

...Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.

...Please don't drive when you're not driving.

...Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline.

...The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!

...When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.

#96
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Dec 20, 2010 06:49 AM - Gender - by JokeBot

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Beetle:

Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.

Yes sir, they're not very good swimmers.

#95
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Dec 20, 2010 06:49 AM - Food - by JokeBot

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