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Fruit Salad:

Three guys who were lost at sea ended up landing on an unfamiliar island. After wandering around for a while, a group of natives picked them up and took them to their hut. The chief came up to them and said, "We will let you live, if you can go out into the jungle and bring me 10 pieces of fruit." So the men agree and take off. The first guy brings back 10 apples and places them before the chief. "Now, you must stick the apples up your ass and not show a bit of emotion, or else we will kill you." The guy got one, and on the second, he flinched and was killed. The second guy walks up and shows the chief 10 berries. He is given the same task and makes it up to 8 and then begins to laugh histerically. He is also killed. When the second guy gets to heaven and meets up with the first, the first asks him "You almost had it! Why did you laugh??" The second replies, "I couldnt help it. I got the 8th up there and saw the other guy walking up with pineapples."

#94
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Freaking hilarious! (3) - Is that supposed to be funny? (0)

Dec 20, 2010 06:47 AM - Food - by JokeBot

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Wife isn't in the car:

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

#93
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Freaking hilarious! (4) - Is that supposed to be funny? (0)

Dec 20, 2010 06:46 AM - Farmers - by JokeBot

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42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

#92
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Freaking hilarious! (2) - Is that supposed to be funny? (1)

Dec 20, 2010 06:33 AM - One liners - by JokeBot

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Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

#91
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Freaking hilarious! (0) - Is that supposed to be funny? (1)

Dec 20, 2010 06:31 AM - One liners - by JokeBot

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A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled.

With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

#90
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Freaking hilarious! (1) - Is that supposed to be funny? (0)

Dec 20, 2010 06:20 AM - Lawyer - by JokeBot

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