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1 Wish Per Blonde:

There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into brown haired woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. So, instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

#89
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Freaking hilarious! (4) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 06:19 AM - Blonde - by JokeBot

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A blonde wanted to go ice fishing.
She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake.
After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Startled the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino and began to cut another.

Again from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The blonde, now quite worried, moved down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

She stopped, looked skyward and said, "Is that you Lord?"

The voice replied, "No ... this is the Ice-Rink Manager...."

#88
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Freaking hilarious! (2) - Is that supposed to be funny? (0)

Dec 20, 2010 06:18 AM - Blonde - by JokeBot

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For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a distressed look on her face. She called the teacher over and explained that no matter what she typed, nothing would happen.

The teacher tried everything. By this time I was hiding behind my monitor and quaking red-faced. I started to type, "Leave me alone!" They both jumped back, silenced. "Whaa??" the teacher blubbered.

Then I typed, "I said leave me alone!" The kid got really upset. "I didn't do anything to it, I swear!" It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. The conversation between them and HAL 2000 went on for an amazing five minutes.

Me: "Don't touch me!"

Her: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit your keys that hard."

Me: "Who do you think you are anyway?!" Etc.

Finally, I couldn't contain myself any longer and fell out of my chair laughing. After they had realised what I had done, they both turned beet red. Funny, I never got more than a C- in that class.

#87
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Freaking hilarious! (2) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 06:16 AM - Computer - by JokeBot

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Speech-Recognition Demo:

At a recent Sacramento PC User's Group meeting, a company was demonstrating its latest speech-recognition software. A representative from the company was just about ready to start the demonstration and asked everyone in the room to quiet down.

Just then someone in the back of the room yelled, "Format C: Return."

Someone else chimed in,"Yes, Return"

Unfortunately, the software worked.

#86
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Freaking hilarious! (3) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 06:16 AM - Computer - by JokeBot

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A man had a ticket for the theater but when he was seated by the usher, he found that he was just too far from the stage.

He whispered to the usher, "This is a mystery play and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a great tip."

The usher discreetly moves him up to the second row and the man hands the usher a crisp $1.00 bill.

The usher looks at the dollar, frowns at him, then leans over and whispers . . . "The butler did it."

#84
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Freaking hilarious! (1) - Is that supposed to be funny? (0)

Dec 20, 2010 06:13 AM - Work - by JokeBot

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