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Category: kids

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There are two brothers, aged four and six.

The six year old says "You know, it's about time we started to swear."

The four year old says "OK."

The six year old says "From now on I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass.'"

The four year old says "OK."

So they go downstairs and their mother says "What would you boys like for breakfast?"

The six year old says "Oh what the hell, I'll have corn flakes."

WHACK!

The kid goes flying across the room.

The mother turns to the four year old and asks "And what would YOU like for breakfast?"

The four year old says "I don't know, but you can bet your ass it's not corn flakes."

#77
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Freaking hilarious! (4) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 06:05 AM - Kids - by JokeBot

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A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: 'God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa.' The father asked, 'Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?' The

little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.'

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: 'God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.'

The next day the grandmother died. 'Holy **** ' thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: 'God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy.'

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said 'I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?'

He said 'I don't want to talk about it; I've just spent the worst day of my life.'

She said, 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!

#76
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Freaking hilarious! (2) - Is that supposed to be funny? (0)

Dec 20, 2010 06:01 AM - Kids - by JokeBot

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A baby was born with the ability to talk.

The first thing he said when he was born was, "Are you my mom?"

"Why, yes!" his mother said. "I am!"

"Well," the baby said, "I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born." Then he looks around the room and says, "Are you my doctor?"

"Yes, I am!" says the doctor.

"Well, I just wanted to thank you," says the baby, "for taking such good care of me during the delivery."

"You're very welcome," says the doctor.

The baby looks around the room and says, "Hey, are you my father?"

Overcome with pride, his dad says, "Yes, I am!"

The baby says, "Come here for a minute. I want to show you something. Bend down." The father complies, and the baby starts poking him in the forehead. "How does that feel?! Hurts, doesn't it?"

#75
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Freaking hilarious! (3) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 06:01 AM - Kids - by JokeBot

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The man sitting just beside the kid in the hospital asked the kid "Why you are crying?", The kid replied I came here for blood test, but this Doctor cut my finger", within no time the man started crying...The Kid asked "Uncle why you are crying?" The man replied "I came here for Urine test!!!!!" :-(

#26
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Freaking hilarious! (3) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

May 13, 2010 05:07 AM - Kids - by Nainu

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