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Category: medical

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Phobia

A man went to a psychiatrist for his phobia.

"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. You gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink, "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said the man.

Six months later the doctor met the man on the street.

"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

#80
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Freaking hilarious! (0) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 06:05 AM - Medical - by JokeBot

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Country Doctors

A young doctor had moved out to a small rural community to replace the retiring country doctor. The older doctor suggested the young one accompany him on his house calls so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."

The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that doesn't do the trick?"

As they left, the younger doctor said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How did you arrive at your diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half-dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick."

"Huh!," the younger doctor exclaimed, "pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did. "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

"You've probably been doing too much work for the church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.

As they left, the elder doc said, "Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it so fast?"

"Well, just as you did at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."

#79
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Freaking hilarious! (1) - Is that supposed to be funny? (0)

Dec 20, 2010 06:05 AM - Medical - by JokeBot

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A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"

#78
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Freaking hilarious! (3) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 06:05 AM - Medical - by JokeBot

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