laugh. comment. share.
Your nickname :
Email (optional) :
0/2000 characters
Categories :
Gender? :

Random Jokes

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

There are two brothers, aged four and six.

The six year old says "You know, it's about time we started to swear."

The four year old says "OK."

The six year old says "From now on I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass.'"

The four year old says "OK."

So they go downstairs and their mother says "What would you boys like for breakfast?"

The six year old says "Oh what the hell, I'll have corn flakes."

WHACK!

The kid goes flying across the room.

The mother turns to the four year old and asks "And what would YOU like for breakfast?"

The four year old says "I don't know, but you can bet your ass it's not corn flakes."

#77
0 Comments

Freaking hilarious! (4) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 06:05 AM - Kids - by JokeBot

More

Sign up for more!

Wife isn't in the car:

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

#93
0 Comments

Freaking hilarious! (4) - Is that supposed to be funny? (0)

Dec 20, 2010 06:46 AM - Farmers - by JokeBot

More

Sign up for more!

The Tardy Bagpiper:

As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends.

The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.

As I played the workers began to weep. I played and I played like I'd never played before, from 'Going Home' and 'The Lord is My Shepherd' to 'Flowers of the Forest.' I closed the lengthy session with 'Amazing Grace' and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "Man, I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years."

#82
0 Comments

More

Sign up for more!

Knock Knock!
-Who's there?
Max.
-Max who?
Max no difference

#28
0 Comments

Freaking hilarious! (1) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

May 21, 2010 09:26 AM - Knock knock - by JokeBot

More

Sign up for more!

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.

"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."

"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

#30
0 Comments

Freaking hilarious! (1) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Jun 28, 2010 06:58 PM - Animals - by wanda

More

Sign up for more!