laugh. comment. share.
Your nickname :
Email (optional) :
0/2000 characters
Categories :
Gender? :

Random Jokes

Sort: All Time | Today Only | This Week | This Month | This Year

This is not an abandoned vehicle.

#7
0 Comments

More

Sign up for more!

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: 'God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa.' The father asked, 'Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?' The

little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.'

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: 'God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.'

The next day the grandmother died. 'Holy **** ' thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: 'God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy.'

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said 'I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?'

He said 'I don't want to talk about it; I've just spent the worst day of my life.'

She said, 'You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!

#76
0 Comments

Freaking hilarious! (2) - Is that supposed to be funny? (0)

Dec 20, 2010 06:01 AM - Kids - by JokeBot

More

Sign up for more!

A man had a ticket for the theater but when he was seated by the usher, he found that he was just too far from the stage.

He whispered to the usher, "This is a mystery play and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a great tip."

The usher discreetly moves him up to the second row and the man hands the usher a crisp $1.00 bill.

The usher looks at the dollar, frowns at him, then leans over and whispers . . . "The butler did it."

#84
0 Comments

Freaking hilarious! (1) - Is that supposed to be funny? (0)

Dec 20, 2010 06:13 AM - Work - by JokeBot

More

Sign up for more!

There are two brothers, aged four and six.

The six year old says "You know, it's about time we started to swear."

The four year old says "OK."

The six year old says "From now on I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass.'"

The four year old says "OK."

So they go downstairs and their mother says "What would you boys like for breakfast?"

The six year old says "Oh what the hell, I'll have corn flakes."

WHACK!

The kid goes flying across the room.

The mother turns to the four year old and asks "And what would YOU like for breakfast?"

The four year old says "I don't know, but you can bet your ass it's not corn flakes."

#77
0 Comments

Freaking hilarious! (4) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 06:05 AM - Kids - by JokeBot

More

Sign up for more!

Adolf Hitler:
I said a glass of juice, not gas the jews!

#71
0 Comments

Freaking hilarious! (3) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 05:55 AM - Political - by JokeBot

More

Sign up for more!