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Adolf Hitler:
I said a glass of juice, not gas the jews!

#71
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Freaking hilarious! (3) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 05:55 AM - Political - by JokeBot

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Apple Computers

I heard this story on the news sometime ago.

Apple had a new computer under development. Their project name for it was "Carl Sagan" (I don't know why).

When the real Carl Sagan learned about this, he was upset. He demanded that Apple stop using his name, even for their private, internal projects.

Apple agreed. They changed the name of the project to "Butt head Astronomer".

#12
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Freaking hilarious! (2) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Mar 8, 2010 01:40 PM - Computer - by JokeBot

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Phobia

A man went to a psychiatrist for his phobia.

"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. You gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink, "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said the man.

Six months later the doctor met the man on the street.

"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

#80
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Freaking hilarious! (0) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 06:05 AM - Medical - by JokeBot

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A baby was born with the ability to talk.

The first thing he said when he was born was, "Are you my mom?"

"Why, yes!" his mother said. "I am!"

"Well," the baby said, "I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born." Then he looks around the room and says, "Are you my doctor?"

"Yes, I am!" says the doctor.

"Well, I just wanted to thank you," says the baby, "for taking such good care of me during the delivery."

"You're very welcome," says the doctor.

The baby looks around the room and says, "Hey, are you my father?"

Overcome with pride, his dad says, "Yes, I am!"

The baby says, "Come here for a minute. I want to show you something. Bend down." The father complies, and the baby starts poking him in the forehead. "How does that feel?! Hurts, doesn't it?"

#75
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Freaking hilarious! (3) - Is that supposed to be funny? (3)

Dec 20, 2010 06:01 AM - Kids - by JokeBot

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3 Nuns
There were 3 nuns in the church 2 were crying 1 was laughing the priest walked up 2 a crying 1 and said 'why are u crying' the nun said i killed some 1 ,the priest said go drink from the holy water so he went up 2 the 2nd crying nun and said why are u crying she said' i stole a car' and he told her to drink from the holy water 2 then went up 2 the laughing nun and said why are u laughing she said' i peed in the holy water'

#10
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Freaking hilarious! (0) - Is that supposed to be funny? (0)

Mar 8, 2010 01:40 PM - Classic - by JokeBot

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